The Storms

As of late, it seems good and hearty storms are hard to come by. Blackened skies, pelting rain, rolling thunder. All of these things bring me immense joy. It was not always this way though.

Once upon a time, in 4th grade, it was 'Doughnuts with Dads' day at school. My dad managed to get the morning off to come with me. So, we sat in the cafeteria and had doughnuts and a jolly good time. All the while, a merciless storm was brewing outside. I had never given much thought to storms before this day. Well, I may have but I don't recall. I have always been an extremely anxious person, so the thought that I may have feared storms before seems highly plausible. Back to the story. I don't know the exact timeline, but I remember leaving the cafe and seeing the librarian go outside and making a comment about the severity of the storm. Then we were told to go into the tornado drill formation. I promptly began to freak out. To make matters worse, my teacher wasn't there that day. It was a sub who could barely speak. I got on the ground and covered my head and such just in time for my dad to tell me he was leaving.

"The storm is probably going to knock out the power! I have to go before a tree falls on my car or something."

Great way to say goodbye paps.

So, there I was on the floor in the hallway bracing for the end, with no authoritative figure to reassure me that I'd live. A tornado did touch the ground, but it didn't get too close to my school. After about an hour we entered class and began the school day. At this point I was literally sick from fear, though I didn't know that last part. I went to the nurse, had my mom called, and went home. It was thanks to this incident that we discovered how horrible my anxiety could get. For the next year or so, storms would tear up my insides and make me nauseous and a nervous wreck. But one day I realized that I love the way storms make me feel. Storms make me so happy, words cannot describe it.

But they never last. The storm that was going on as I began writing this has since left me.
I am alone. Everything ends the same. Me, alone.